Every year a half dozen or more messages get sent around containing inspiring, funny and\/or heart-touching written verses about mothers. With Mother’s Day happening soon, I thought I’d share one of the more comedic messages I’ve received. It makes me smile when I read it each year. I didn’t write it, but I can definitely relate to it, as I’m sure you will too.<\/p>\n
I Owe My Mother<\/strong><\/p>\n 1.<\/strong> My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. <\/strong> 2.<\/strong> My mother taught me RELIGION. <\/strong> 3.<\/strong> My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. <\/strong> 4.<\/strong> My mother taught me LOGIC. <\/strong> 5.<\/strong> My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. <\/strong> 6.<\/strong> My mother taught me FORESIGHT. <\/strong> 7.<\/strong> My mother taught me IRONY. <\/strong> 8. <\/strong>My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. <\/strong> 9.<\/strong> My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. <\/strong> 10.<\/strong> My mother taught me about STAMINA. <\/strong> 11.<\/strong> My mother taught me about WEATHER. <\/strong> 12.<\/strong> My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. <\/strong> 13.<\/strong> My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. <\/strong> 14.<\/strong> My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. <\/strong>
\n“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”<\/em><\/p>\n
\n“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”<\/em><\/p>\n
\n“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”<\/em><\/p>\n
\n“Because I said so, that’s why.”<\/em><\/p>\n
\n“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”<\/em><\/p>\n
\n“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”<\/em><\/p>\n
\n“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”<\/em><\/p>\n
\n“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”<\/em><\/p>\n
\n“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”<\/em><\/p>\n
\n“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”<\/em><\/p>\n
\n“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”<\/em><\/p>\n
\n“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”<\/em><\/p>\n
\n“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”<\/em><\/p>\n
\n“Stop acting like your father!”<\/em><\/p>\n